Answers?

I have one. How about we don’t allow one single person to amass an arsenal without reporting it to the authorities. Why oh why do we have to see this happen over and over and over again? I realize this is a complex problem and gun control isn’t the only piece of this god-awful puzzle. But it’s a start, certainly.

I am reposting a post I wrote on April 16, 2007, after covering the Virginia Tech Shootings at The Los Angeles Times:

“After the most brutal day in the newsroom, covering the shootings at Virginia Tech, I reached into my mailbox. Tucked in between the bills and a new box of checks a letter from my daughter’s college wiggled out of the pile. I opened the envelope. Her residence hall acceptance information read, “A new home and new experiences. Welcome to the neighborhood.” On the cover of an enclosed brochure, a beautiful girl sat in her dorm room on her bed with an eye toward her future. I flip the page. Decisions need to be made about payments and meal plans. My heart sinks. Not tonight. 

Just last night Mx and I started planning our August trip. A continental driving odyssey. In truth, I am the one who always wanted to drive cross-country, not Mx. But last night when we opened the atlas and traced our fingers over Route 66 (more or less) Mx got excited too. I stare at the cities scribbled on a blue post-it on the kitchen counter: LA, Vegas, Albuquerque, Tulsa, Mammoth Caves in Kentucky, Pittsburg, New York. We promised to stop at every kitchy place along the way and decided to allow a full ten days for our trip.

Tonight I don’t even want to go. Empty nesting was already approaching a little too fast for me—my baby in college. Another good-bye. Yesterday I said good-bye to my oldest daughter. Spring break over, she drove back to San Francisco last night. We made plans for me to visit her at her university this weekend. Good timing.

Is it harder to let Mx go today than it was yesterday? I’d be lying if I said no. I text messaged both my girls this afternoon and told them I love them in the midst of helping to design animations describing the timeline of the shootings as the death toll rose to 33.

What is the answer? And why do we look for answers only after tragedies? Not before. Is a certain insidious writing on the wall that we can’t seem to read until something like this happens?

Reach out. Maybe this is the answer. Reach out to those in agony. Our neighbors, our friends. If we are in agony, reach out for help. Post to the blogs of the students that are feeling so scared they don’t want to sleep in their dorm rooms tonight. Your love and support helps. It’s felt over the ether. Hug your own kids more than you ever have before. 

In nearly two months Mx will graduate from high school. We have family coming into town and a party planned. I even have taken time off work so that Mx and I can enjoy spending a little extra time together before she goes. 

Then I realize no matter how we plan, none of us knows how much time we have. Maybe that is the answer. But the answer has to be beyond Carpe Diem. It’s more than that. 

Let’s talk about this. What could have helped prevent this tragedy? We can’t just bury 33 people under the banner of “things happen.” Things like this don’t happen much outside of the United States.

LA to NY? Even though I probably won’t have any answers by August, Mx and I will make our trip. We will laugh and get sick of each other and probably cry a little too. I will let her go. Even though it’s harder today than it was yesterday. It’s her time.

Here we sit. Five years later. Something needs to change.